When we had Selah dedicated in December 2009 I was asked to share with the church why it was important to us to do this. I briefly shared a bit of my testimony and what it all boiled down to was this:
It is my deepest desire to have my children believe Jesus for eternal life. It is so much more important than their choice of vocation, education, friends, who they marry etc… Because this belief or faith will ultimately affect everything else in their life. I want them to know God and know how it feels to be fully accepted and overwhelmingly loved.
Lorne and I have been trying to nurture this from the beginning. We prayed for our children while I was pregnant with them and we have prayed for them throughout their short lives. Lorne usually puts the girls to bed and says the Lord’s prayer with them before he tucks them in.
I try to take opportunities in everyday life to share faith with my girls. Zoe already asks questions about God and Jesus because she has a children’s Bible that we read with her. Tonight Zoe called out for me to come into her room (after she had gone to bed) and when I came in she said: “Mama, I am just scared of the ogres and giants.” We had a brief talk about what is true and what is make belief and then she said “Mama, will you pray for me?”. I have longed for my children to ask me this. I do pray for Zoe on the way to school and often in the evening but usually it is my suggestion and tonight she asked! I prayed for her that she would have a peaceful sleep and feel safe. After I finished she said, “Will you pray that the ogres and giants will go away? Will you pray that?”. So I prayed that Jesus would take the “ogres and giants” from her mind so she can sleep peacefully and feel safe. She is sleeping peacefully now.
Now I know it is MUCH more than just my words – it is my actions more than my words. Somehow I am trying to live in a way that points my children to God. But I fail at this frequently. This has required me to ask for forgiveness for “snapping” at my children. I am not sure how much Zoe understands, but I do think she understands that I am admitting that I am wrong and not perfect. We are big on forgiveness and restoring relationships around here . Once Zoe apologizes for a wrong we try our hardest not to bring it up again to shame her. We want her to experience grace and restoration so that hopefully she will understand God’s grace through his Son that much more.
I want to share how this has evolved from the beginning of our parenting stages. When I was pregnant with Zoe there were some complications. It was possible that she could have been born with Down Syndrome and this was difficult for me to process while I was pregnant with her. At first I was mad at God and I didn’t want to pray. I was angry that my pregnancy wasn’t what I expected it to be. But during those 9 months God did some transformation in my heart and in my mind. Through much encouragement and prayer from my husband and close friends I began to zoom out and see things from a different perspective. I learned a life long lesson that I think is crucial to parenting. I learned that no matter what, God loves Zoe even more than we love her. And that is hard to process because we love our kids so much it hurts! But it is true: God loves our children even more than we love them. This truth helps me pray for them and it also helps me to let them grow in grace. Instead of my sinful nature that wants to control their growth so that I can mold them (that would be scary!) ~ this helps me look to the Lord for help with raising them in truth, in love, and in grace.
I hope to post what my friend, Caroline Poole, shared at her son’s baptism recently. She did a wonderful job of comparing a parent’s love and grace with God’s love and grace. I have asked her permission to post it but she has not yet sent it to me. I will post it soon as an addendum to this because it is beautiful and encouraging and true.
Thank you for letting me share my heart.
This is Caroline Poole’s testimony for her son’s baptism recently:
Testimony at Thomas’ Baptism, 14 March 2009
Because it’s Mother’s Day, it would be good to get a mum’s perspective. Caroline has got three boys. So I’ve asked her to tell us: what does she most want for her children?
As a mum, obviously I am concerned about whether my children are happy and well, and about how they’re getting on at school and with their friends and stuff like that.
But what I most want for them is for them to know love and forgiveness. I hope they’ll experience this in our family.
But even more than that, I want them to know God’s love and God’s forgiveness.
I find it amazing to think that God loves my children even more than I do. Actually I’ve found that I’ve learned a lot about what love means since becoming a mum.
It’s easy to feel that love when I creep into their bedrooms and they’re asleep, and I think “oh, aren’t they lovely!” But I guess that a mother’s love really proves itself when it costs you your sleep because you’re up in the middle of the night with them, or they’re being sick or whatever.
But God’s love is even greater and more sacrificial. The Bible describes God as the perfect Father who loves and cares for his children and he goes to extreme lengths for them.
This is has been my experience, since I became a Christian 20 years ago. That’s what I want my children to discover about God…
I also want them to know about forgiveness. It’s not that they’re particularly naughtier than other children.
In fact, I’ve got a friend whose son is really naughty. They were having a dinner party one night, and he tiptoed downstairs, and thought he’d put washing up liquid in the kettle. So when they came to make the coffee, it was a disaster!
Well, my children haven’t done that!
But equally, I know Thomas will not need lessons in how to be naughty.
I know there will be times when he’ll ignore me and he won’t do what I say. And one day he’ll find out what the naughty step is!
Incidentally, did you know there’s a children’s book called “we are wearing out the naughty step”? With three children, the naughty step will probably get fairly worn down in our house!
But I don’t want it to end there… When I first trusted in Jesus, I found that God forgave me everything I’ve ever done wrong.
And because of that, I want my children to know that when they say “sorry”, I will forgive them. Forgiveness restores relationships.
But even more important than knowing my forgiveness, I want them to know forgiveness from God for themselves.
Our natural tendency with God is to get on with much of our lives without giving him a lot of thought. We ignore him and what he says.
Well that’s no way to treat any father, let alone our heavenly Father. When God calls us to ‘own up’, it will be clear that we’re guilty.
But the incredible thing with God is that although wrongs do matter to him, he volunteers to take the punishment for it himself.
In fact, that’s what Jesus was doing when he died on the cross. He was being punished instead of me. And as I’ve turned back to him and said sorry, I’ve experienced his forgiveness.
And that’s what I want for my children. I don’t want them to be estranged from God.
Instead, I want him to know Jesus for themselves, because if they turn to Jesus, then they’ll find God’s forgiveness and God’s love.
That’s what I most need for myself, and what I most want for my boys.