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Lorne has been away for about 3 weeks now and we still have 11 days to go and counting! He flew home to Canada to spend time with his father who recently suffered a significant stroke. As soon as we got the call I knew Lorne would have to go and sort things out and more importantly be near to his father. Thankfully before he left, we felt close and well connected with no grievances with one another. I think that the strength of our relationship has made this go somewhat smoothly.
It is a challenge to be on my own with the girls for one whole month plus. It has required discipline and devotion on my part. When Lorne is gone I want my girls even closer to me. I think part of that is because I am missing Lorne so much and also because I am the only one watching them and so I feel that need to be that much more attentive to them. I also realize how much they miss him and I want to help them through that.
We have been doing some small yet important things to stay connected as a family while Lorne is away. There is a 7 hour time difference between him and us so he stays up late and we skype with him first thing in morning (usually 7 am our time). This means the girls get to see him and talk to him every morning. We haven’t missed one yet. Now, when Selah (1 year) sees my computer she says “Dada! Dada!”. Zoe (3 year) has gone up and down with skyping. At first she was happy to skype, then a few days in she didn’t want to talk to Lorne on the computer, only on the phone. So Lorne would call her and talk just to her. Now she seems to be warming up to skype again. Although she has told Lorne emphatically: “your flight must arrive in 5 minutes!” and she has also said: “GG (Lorne’s dad) can’t be that sick, you need to come home now!”. She misses her Daddy.
We also talk about Daddy lots during the day and involve him in our day. Zoe has painted pictures and made crafts for Lorne. We talk about having a party when he comes home and about all the fun things we can do when he gets here. We also pray for him each day. In the evenings when the girls are in bed I e-mail Lorne to tell him about our day and send him a few pictures of the girls throughout the day. He has been grateful for the e-mails and pictures.
I could have enrolled Zoe in extra nursery sessions while Lorne has been gone but as I said earlier I don’t want to distance myself from my girls, I want them closer. I have planned one day trip a week. We have gone to the zoo, swimming, took the train to a friend’s house in a nearby village, and lots of visits to the park. We have also taken lots of walks which we call adventures and we explore the park to find pine cones, flowers, squirrels running up trees, ducks, and fountains. I thought filling the days would be hard and that they would pass so slowly. But it hasn’t been so difficult and the days are going by fairly quickly.
On my part I have had to be mindful of my timekeeping. I have had to force myself to go to bed earlier than I would have liked and to prepare meals and do laundry in the evenings so that I can pour into my daughters. I have also had to simplify some things like cooking so that I don’t feel too overextended. This has been challenging.
Thankfully, the girls and I have not been ill. The weather has also been good and time outside seems to pass more quickly than time inside. And daily communication with Lorne has been so good and so important to this separation being bearable for all of us. We do miss him greatly and can’t wait until he comes home!